In this and the next two blog posts I will continue sharing the poems that I wrote for each of the dogs pictured in the image above. These four dogs are the main characters in my upcoming book, Tails of Grace and Mercy: Ayla, Grace, Sadie and Joy. Each of these dogs represents a characteristic of God and the lessons learned during the time they walked beside me in my healing journey. Last month I shared a poem written for Ayla, The Dog of My Comfort. This month’s post will feature Grace, The Dog of My Peace, written shortly after she died. It was nearly eight years after Ayla’s passing when she came to me.

Grace August 1998-October 2011

There’s a hole in my life where you once used to be, A fifty-pound void that I carry with me. How could someone so small fill up so much space? ’Twas the warmth of your presence, your sweet winsome face.

You came here to live, ’98 in December, Though I first saw you roaming one day in October. You and your littermates out running wild, Trotting through town with a small crying child.

We stopped to see what the problem was then, Took you home with your sibs, thought that was the end. But you came to me softly, in dream-form one night, No sound just your presence, your fur sparkling white. A little pink nose, a “patch” on one eye. And another black spot on one ear and one side.

Then I saw you again, out cruising the town, Up near the highway, on your way to the pound. Did I rescue or steal you? You judge my part. The truth of the matter is you stole my heart.

I brought you on home, to my husband’s chagrin, Though after a while his heart you did win. My constant companion at home and in town, In the car on the way, you were always around. At the office, your job? The warm friendly greeter, Your welcoming presence just couldn’t be sweeter.

What you lived for, however, was running a trail, You’d wag your whole body from your head to your tail. You’d run up ahead, always leading the way, No happier dog in this world I would say.

In the thirteen short years of all of your life you rarely knew sorrow, heartache, or strife. But joyful abundance and moments of bliss, For our four-legged friends who could want more than this? Other dogs in my past my spirits they’d buoy, But you came along to share in my joy.

Now that you’re gone, my grief it runs deep. I wake up and miss you, often cry in my sleep. Sometimes the longing, it near steals my breath, I find myself railing the coldness of death.

There’s a fifty-pound hole now, once warm and alive, Though I miss you so greatly, I know I’ll survive. On this side of Eden much sorrow we bear, Sometimes I just long for the day I’ll be there. ’Til then, I’ll remember your sweet winsome face, And look forward to heaven and my sweet Lady Grace.

Again, like my poem for Ayla, that pretty much sums up our time together. She quite literally came to me. Of course, God knew that I (and my husband Lee) were ready for the wonderful gift that she was. Lee had never had a pet before and though she was definitely my girl, she was the perfect dog that eventually captured his heart and opened him to become the dog lover that he is today.

Whereas Ayla was in so many ways the comforting companion/friend that I so desperately needed at that time, Grace was a beautiful “grace note.” Webster’s defines that “as a musical note added as an ornament, or a small addition or embellishment.” Though she was by no means an ornament nor a small embellishment, she certainly added to the harmonious joyful life I was finally living.

When I reflect on the years that proceeded her presence in my life, I realize that God had been preparing me for just that — a season of peace and grace. Through the loneliness and heartache of the past He taught me to rely on Him for EVERYTING. No person, circumstance or even the dearest canine would ever completely fill the void in my heart — the God shaped hole, that all of us are born with. Even though I had asked Jesus into my heart as a broken and lonely 17-year-old, teenage mother, I began to learn from the consequences of my poor choices that He could turn those things into strength and maturity as I surrendered them to Him.

I knew that I was forgiven and saved from the guilt of those sins. However, He wanted me to move beyond that into a mature and abiding spiritual life that would only come as I continued to surrender my wants and needs to Him, and to grasp that He alone was the only true and faithful friend and husband I would ever have for all eternity.

In closing, by sharing these words, I pray that you might glean from my experiences and my hope is that you too can enjoy the peace and grace of God. No matter what your own experiences or current circumstances, you need only to surrender yourself to the One that would invite you into a life of peace and grace. Cry out to Him and He will surely hear.

Revelation 3: 20. NKJV. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.

When you answer this invitation, your life will never be the same. Please comment below as I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Love and prayers. Mary A. Mills